How NOT to write a dating profile for menfolk

***HOW TO ALIENATE AND/OR WEIRD OUT THE FEMALE DATING POPULATION***
Just some tips based on real life profile writing “don’ts” because, let’s face it, some of you guys aren’t all that skilled at fishing in the dating pool.

Be legally married but separated. Better yet, join a dating site a week after you separate and make your status well known.

Add women to your favorites list but don’t initiate contact. Stalker much?

Inform us that your age is wrong and now the site won’t let you change it. How can you mistakenly enter your DOB as 10 years younger than what you really are?

State that your kids are #1/the love of your life/will always come first! Because dating isn’t hard enough; let’s make it a competition.

Mention frequently how lonely you are and list your interests as “finding someone to make me happy/the love of a good woman.” If you don’t know how to be content on your own, then you’ll never find the pot o’ gold at the end of rainbow happiness.

List your interests as kissing, cuddling, massages, pleasin’ your woman, etc. No, it’s not obvious that you’re just lookin’ for a hook up.

Talk about how you love to laugh. You love making people laugh. You make people laugh where ever you go. Nobody is as funny as you. You’re a class clown and need to constantly be the center of attention. OMG get over yourself. Who doesn’t like to laugh??

About your job:  it’s not what you USED to do, want to do or are trying to do. It’s what you currently do that pays the bills.

Brag incessantly about your job, how many people work for you, where you’ve traveled, your many houses/vehicles/toys, how well-liked you are. You are looking for a date, not trying to take out a loan.

Complain about how women are always doing you wrong. Stop taking back the cheatin’ hoes!

State how you have such a great relationship with your ex and you even hang out together. If things are THAT great, get back together already! Jesus.

Have no pics. Or a pic of 2 guys but don’t identify yourself, then it turns out your friend is hotter than you. Or have ONE blurry pic of yourself that’s 5 years old, wearing shades and hugged up to scantily-clad bimbos with the caption, “I haven’t changed much,” or “I look way better in person.” OR just have pics of food, drinks, your toys, vehicles, pets, landscape, road/sea kill or your kids. Why would you put pics of your kids on a dating site??

Send us ladies well thought out, creative messages such as, “You’re hot. What do you want to know about me? You can ask me anything” to indicate the lowest level of interest possible.

In the About Me section, just type three lines of “I’ll fill this out later” to meet the word count and don’t tell us anything about yourself. Because the only reason you’re here is out of boredom so why put forth any effort, right?

This has been a dating public service announcement. You can thank me later 😉

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Dorita
    Oct 23, 2012 @ 10:08:37

    If this what your blogs are about, how do I read more. I truely enjoyed it. Your message was right on point. Keep it up, you are so on point.

    Reply

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